One of the questions I get asked the most from friends is how I travel so often when I hate flying. And the answer is simple – my desire to see the world trumps my absolute fear of flying. I’ve been flying for almost 30 years but it wasn’t until I had one really bumpy experience in my mid-20s that I started showing all the symptoms of a nervous flyer – white knuckles, shallow breathing, doomsday scenarios, you name it.
If you’re like me, you likely need a combination of:
- Facts to understand the basics of plane mechanics and flying
- Distractions to help make the time pass
- Methods to help reduce & regulate any discomfort you may experience during your flight
⭐ My Flight Essentials:
Nintendo Switch + My Favorite Switch Game (the perfect distraction)
Motion Sickness Bands
SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying
Hydroflask (to prevent dehydration on long flights)
I also found that the most common tips and tricks for combating flying anxiety are really unhelpful. Someone who is a super anxious flier isn’t going to be swayed by the fact that flying is one of the safest ways to travel and accidents are 1 in 33.1 million – that person is wondering if their plane is going to be the 1. For that same person, wine doesn’t suppress their anxiety, it heightens it (speaking from personal experience). And “just sleep during your flight” doesn’t work if your mind is constantly trying to create and suppress catastrophic scenarios, all while clenching whenever there’s a sudden sound or movement.
Below are my best tips & tricks from the past 10 years that have helped calm my nerves when flying. I’m still a nervous flier but nowadays I’m not in an absolute panic in the days leading up to my next flight and I can have an easier time staying relaxed during unexpected turbulence.
- Tips When Booking Flights for a Nervous Flier
- Tips for Preparing for a Flight as an Anxious Flier
- Tips to Manage Flight Anxiety During Your Flight
- 8. 👕 Wear comfortable clothes
- 9. 🤢 Wear motion sickness bands
- 10. 📶 Pay for Inflight WiFi
- 11. 💻 Distract yourself with deep or immersive activities
- 12. ⏸️ Create artificial breaks
- 13. 🧘🏻 Practice mindfulness exercises
- 14. 🆙 Lift your feet
- 15. 🍮 Visualize the plane as an object in jello
- 16. 🧑🏻✈Watch the flight attendants
- 17. ☁️ Look out the window
- Additional Helpful Tips For Anxious Fliers
- Essential Carry-On Packing List for Nervous Fliers
This post may contain affiliate links for highly recommended products or services that I want to share with you!
Tips When Booking Flights for a Nervous Flier
1. 🌅 Book a morning flight
Morning flights tend to have less turbulence because the wind conditions are milder and the ground below is colder. As the day goes on, it gets hotter and hotter and that heat is what increases the frequency and severity of turbulence.
Personally, I prefer late morning flights (11:00 AM) because I get most of the benefits of favorable weather and I’m also able to sleep in and get a good night’s rest. I know it’s generally cheaper to fly super early (like 6:00 AM) but I’ll rarely book that option because being sleep-deprived exacerbates my nerves when I’m flying. I’ll make exceptions for short flights like from the Bay Area to Orange County but I’ll never choose this option for long-haul international flights.
2. 💺 Choose a seat over the wing
For me as a nervous flier, the most important aspect of booking a flight is finding a seat over (or near) the wing. Imagine a plane is like a seesaw – similar to a seesaw, the center of the plane moves the least while the ends of the plane (i.e. the front and back) will move up and down much more dramatically. By sitting over the wings, you’re going to feel less movement because you are closest to the plane’s center of gravity.
This is especially true for short, domestic flights in the U.S. as these flights typically use small planes which are more susceptible to moving in line with the air (aka more susceptible to turbulence).
💡If available, pick an aisle seat for even more stability.
Tips for Preparing for a Flight as an Anxious Flier
3. 🙈Avoid reading negative news
When I first started experimenting with ways to overcome my flying anxiety, I used to check the news religiously for any information about recent plane crashes. The idea was that if I can understand what caused those crashes in the first place, I can look out for similar signals on my flight.
There’s just one problem – I’m not a trained professional.
So what happened? Any piece of negative news I read/saw would get added as a line item on my ever increasing list of why I should be scared of flying. Don’t be like me and avoid seeking out negative news about flights. Remember, the news only reports on when things go wrong, not the million times things go right.
4. ✍🏻Create a list of Flying 101 info & stats
While you shouldn’t go doomsday scrolling, research some flight statistics and develop a basic understanding of flying. Afterwards, write them down in a digital note somewhere so that you can access them anytime you start feeling uncomfortable on your flight. Taking the time to actually list them out somewhere you can reference will prevent (1) forgetting all that helpful information and (2) hyper fixating on your anxiety during your flight.
I created an iPhone note called “Turbulence Affirmations” and it has significantly helped me stay calm when I’m feeling nervous.
💡 Anybody who has flying anxiety should have a copy of SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying. It’s one of the few resources that helped me understand why I felt anxious when flying and provides tangible tips you can practice before and during your flight to make you feel less anxious.
5. 😴Get a good night’s rest
One of the most unhelpful pieces of advice someone told me was to pull an all-nighter before a flight so that I’d pass out on the plane. Instead of falling asleep, I only ended up stressed and sleep-deprived, making me feel even more nervous and anxious than normal.
If you’re an anxious flier like me, then it’s a good idea to get plenty of rest which will help you reduce and regulate stress during your flight. Your body will also thank you for boosting your immune system so you can fight off any nasty germs during your travels.
6. ☁️ Check the forecast along your route
As a nervous flier, I try to remind myself that turbulence is a normal part of flying and I should always expect some bouts of it on my flight. However, I find it helps me to know how severe and/or how persistent the turbulence will be for my flight so I can mentally prepare myself.
That’s when I’ll go to turbli.com and input my flight information. If Turbli can find your route, it’ll grade how much turbulence you can expect on your flight, ranging from light to strong.
You can also click on Maps and get taken to the World Turbulence Map, which grades turbulence levels based on shifting weather patterns. You can adjust the map’s altitude levels and time to calculate up to +12 hours ahead.
⚠️ Disclaimer: I caution against over-relying on these tools and treating them as absolute truths. Of the two, I find the World Turbulence Map to be a more accurate representation of where I feel bumps on my flight but I always remind myself these are guides.
7. 💆🏻♀️ Relax at the airport (lounge)
There’s a fine line between getting to the airport early and too early. While you don’t want to miss your flight, the last thing you want to do is twiddle your thumbs and be in your head for hours leading up to your flight.
I find getting to the gate with about 1 (for domestic flights) or 2 (for international flights) hours before departure provides plenty of time to decompress from the frenzy of check-in and security without having too much time on my hands. And after finally being able to upgrade my Chase Sapphire Preferred to the Chase Sapphire Reserve card, I can now access Priority Pass lounges which is truly a life-changing improvement.
Tips to Manage Flight Anxiety During Your Flight
8. 👕 Wear comfortable clothes
You want to maximize comfort as much as possible during your flight. Opt for loose-fitting clothes, layers, and socks so you can stay warm/cool as needed. My default plane outfit is my jean jacket, an oversized shirt, and these Colorfulkoala joggers which never dig into my stomach (which is also one of my go-to outfits whenever I’m visiting London).
9. 🤢 Wear motion sickness bands
If you’re someone who gets car or sea sick, then you might benefit from wearing motion sickness bands during your flight.
I know they sound super gimmicky (I thought the same thing when a friend first introduced them to me) but I became a convert when they saved me from getting sick on the boat ride during my manta ray snorkeling trip in Hawaii. They are now an essential part of my travel packing list and I never go anywhere without them.
I randomly decided to wear them during my flight because I had felt queasy throughout the day and I didn’t get nauseous at all, even though there was turbulence on my flight. I’d say I have mild-to-moderate motion sickness (ex: I can’t scroll on my phone during car or train rides) so if you’re like me, they might work for you too!
10. 📶 Pay for Inflight WiFi
The #1 recommendation I have for anyone who is a nervous flier is to pay for inflight Wifi. I cannot stress how helpful it is to be able to browse the internet, check real-time flight tracking information, and message loved ones when you need someone to talk to.
One of my favorite things to do when I have inflight WiFi these days is to see all the flights that are in progress and find ones that are on a similar route as me using Flightradar24. Knowing that all these planes are around me even if I can’t see them makes me feel less alone and more confident that I’ll get to my destination safely.
11. 💻 Distract yourself with deep or immersive activities
Think about the tasks that require deep attention for you to complete. These are the tasks that are perfect to do while on your flight because it’ll make the time go faster and it’ll be harder for you to get distracted by intrusive thoughts. Because I know I won’t get much sleep (or even any), I now plan to get work or trip planning done on international flights. It’s a win-win because the time goes so much faster and I’m being productive.
When I get tired of that, I usually end up playing games on my Nintendo Switch or watching movies.
💡You can usually look up what movies and TV shows will be available on your flight about 1-month in advance. I almost always find movies that I like so I don’t need to download anything ahead of time. I get especially excited when my flight has movies that are part of a series, like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.
12. ⏸️ Create artificial breaks
Another reason to pick the aisle seat is that you can walk around or go to the bathroom as you please. This is not only great for your blood circulation but also creates small breaks throughout your flight that helps the time pass. I also love meal time on long-haul flights for the same reason.
13. 🧘🏻 Practice mindfulness exercises
At some point during your flight, you’ll experience turbulence. When that happens, validate your feelings and practice relaxation techniques.
The one I practice the most after reading about it in SOAR is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. With this technique, take a deep breath and engage your 5 senses as you search for:
- 5 things you can see around you
- 4 things you’re feeling in your body
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
As you verbalize what you’re noticing, you’re helping your mind stay present and in tune with what’s actually happening in your body (as opposed to what could happen). You may need to cycle through the method a few times before you start feeling relaxed and that’s perfectly okay!
💡It’s helpful to have water and snacks on-hand so that you can go through this method whenever you’re feeling nervous.
14. 🆙 Lift your feet
When experiencing turbulence, lift your feet up off the floor. If you keep them elevated while turbulence is taking place, you’ll find that it greatly reduces the sensation of shakiness you would otherwise feel.
15. 🍮 Visualize the plane as an object in jello
One of the most powerful visualizations that’s been going around is to imagine a plane as if it were an object stuck in jello. Imagine an airplane flying through the sky as an object suspended in jello. The object (airplane) might jiggle when the jello (air) gets disturbed, but it’s still held safely within the jello mold.
When an airplane encounters turbulence, it’s like that piece of object wiggling inside the jello. The plane might bounce or shake a bit due to disturbances in the air, much like the object jiggles in the jello. But just as the object doesn’t fall out of the jello, the airplane remains safely supported by the air around it, even during turbulence.
I personally find it one of the most visually powerful analogies that illustrate how airplanes are designed to handle turbulence safely, even if it feels uncomfortable.
16. 🧑🏻✈Watch the flight attendants
Flight attendants are trained professionals who are familiar with the various sounds and movements during a flight. If you see flight attendants looking calm and performing their routine tasks like drink or meal service when you’re experiencing turbulence, you can rest assured that the flight is proceeding as expected.
17. ☁️ Look out the window
When I know it’s supposed to rain or thunderstorm, I expect to feel light-to–moderate turbulence on my flight. But sometimes, I’ll unexpectedly encounter bumps on my flight even though it’s a beautiful, sunny day outside. When this happens (and if the person in the window seat leaves the window open), then I’ll look out the window to see what’s going on outside.
If I see that we’re flying over mountains or cumulus clouds (the white fluffy ones), I know that the turbulence I’m experiencing is perfectly normal. If there’s a strong wind near a mountain range, it’s forced to rise and flow over the mountain, creating waves of air that cause turbulence. Similarly, cumulus clouds form from rising warm air, which also create bumpy waves that the plane has to navigate through.
Additional Helpful Tips For Anxious Fliers
Here are a list of tips that (1) I’ve tried and didn’t work for me but might work for you or (2) definitely help but are usually out of your control:
- Fly frequently – ironically, flying more often and the same routes has definitely helped reduce how often I think anxious thoughts. If you are lucky though, flying often helps you get more comfortable with the sensations and noises associated with flying. And when you fly the same route multiple times, you can get a better sense of when to expect turbulence. For example, I know to expect bumps when I’m traveling east over the Rockies or west over the North Pacific en route to Japan.
- Travel with others – for someone who had pretty bad flight anxiety, I did a lot of solo travel. I’m always thankful when I have the opportunity to fly with friends and loved ones because it really does help to have someone you trust and can talk to during your flight.
- Meditation app or podcast – Since I don’t actively meditate, I can’t get in the zone and end up super distracted. Again, this could be a great option for someone who regularly meditates but it does not work for me.
- Noise-canceling headphones – I personally don’t like wearing noise-canceling headphones on a flight because I find it disorienting to feel things in my body that I can’t sense otherwise. For example, if it starts getting bumpy and I feel the movement, I expect to also hear something as well. However, it’s definitely worth figuring out if they will work for you.
- Alcohol & medication – I mentioned this earlier but drinking alcohol only left me stressed and with a pounding headache, while Benadryl just leaves me sleepy and anxious.
Essential Carry-On Packing List for Nervous Fliers
Here’s a list of things I always bring in my carry-on so I can be as relaxed as possible on my flight:
- Comfortable clothes. Bring layers and loose-fitting clothes for baseline comfort. I wear the same black t-shirt, denim jacket, and joggers whenever I fly.
- Sleep mask. You never know if you’ll be able to actually get some sleep on your flight so bring a sleep mask just in case your body is feeling relaxed enough. I have a loose-fitting sleep mask I got almost 10 years ago that I wear over my glasses when I feel like I can get some shut eye.
- Water bottle. Make sure to remain hydrated during your flight to avoid feeling nauseous. If you’re on a long-haul flight, you will rarely get enough water to drink during meal/snack service so make sure to bring a water bottle and fill it up at the airport before your flight. I love my 40 oz Hydroflask because it keeps my water cold and it holds enough water that I don’t have to refill it more than once.
- Headphones. I never fly anywhere without my Airpods and prefer the basic option for flights.
- Nintendo Switch. You don’t have to go out of your way to buy a Nintendo Switch but I would recommend bringing it if you already have one. I appreciate how easy it is to travel with and find it a great way to distract myself on a flight.
- Motion sickness bands. If you have mild to moderate motion sickness like me, then I would encourage you to try wearing motion sickness bands at least once. I’ve only ever used the Sea-Band brand but there are plenty of other alternatives on Amazon.
- Laptop & iPad. I’m 100% sucked into the Apple ecosystem and I absolutely appreciate it when I fly. Things like being able to AirDrop items or copy/pasting from one device to another are just the little things that are super convenient, especially when you’re only connecting one of your devices to WiFi. I often use both my work laptop (Macbook Air) and iPad Pro (with Magic Keyboard) at some point during my flight.
- SOAR. The #1 best book and resource if you’re an anxious flier. I always bring it with me so I can reference specific chapters based on how I’m feeling during my flight.
Final Thoughts on How to Overcome Flying Anxiety as a Nervous Flier
From one anxious flier to another, I get it. I know it can be super frustrating to feel like we have to prepare so much to feel like our “normal” selves. Everything I listed above are things I plan for, thinking about, or pack with me to feel safe and comfortable – meanwhile, my partner falls asleep before take-off.
If this is your first flight, know that air travel is so much safer than you may think or feel at the moment. However, even if we know that we’re more likely to get hurt in a car accident, sometimes knowledge alone isn’t enough. In those times, I hope you find the tips in this guide helpful to distract and calm your nerves.
If you find that you may need more support, let your cabin crew know as each and every one of them are there to make sure you’re safe and comfortable. Sometimes, just voicing your fears can make the time more bearable. And for even more support, enroll in British Airways Flying with Confidence course or work with a mental health professional to see what specific tips will work best for what you need.
So next time you board, remember you’re not alone and know that I’m rooting for you – you can do this!
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